Part of me lives in Alaska

I am proud of myself for being a big girl but I must admit its mostly a show. :/ Keeps the kids and hubby happy but I do miss my mommy and daddy so very much. I have never been away from them like this ever really! Ya I made a bold and stupid teenager move when I was 18 to stay in cali whil emy parents moved to AZ. Lets see... how long did that last?? 3 months was it? Ya I got pregnant and made that excuse but if you would speak to my x, we fought daily because I wanted to be by them. My mom and dad have always been the biggest influence in my life! I believe that they did the most best job a parent can do in raising an overly emotional teenage girl and pretty normal boy. Hehe. Although is it normal that we have a picture of Joe wearing cowboy boots, a shirt but no pants pointing his rifle at us? Maybe not so normal.. hehe jk!

Even though for some strange reason I do not know why (blond perhaps) that I cant remember A LOT of my childhood I do remember the emotions and I always depended and counted on my parents. No matter how bad I would "F" up I knew I still would always have them. That they show me the same love that my heavenly father does. I believe that my parents will never leave me or forsake me. I dont have to give you the MANY times I KNOW I have hurt them and any other person would consider disowning me, but not my parents. They stuck with me, let me make all my own disicions but of course they always gave their insight! Which actually in the long run was exactly what I needed to hear. I may not have used it at the moment but it was definatly the tools that helped me when I was ready!

Thank you mommy and daddy for being so patient with me in my horrible teen and early 20's years! As they werent easy for me I KNOW they werent easy for you either! Thank you for putting your faith in me and waiting fo rme to blossom! I am so blessed and happy with my life now it seems like a fairy tale! Even more when we get orders to Alaska some day! But if for some crappy reson we dont, its just a few years and we will all be living by eachother again! Its not permanent! I love you guys!!

How 4 became 7!

Must admit, God works in mysterious ways!! In ALL ways! hahaAll my life I had been praying for a strong man, a man of God and man of humor, a man of passion a man of strength a man of knowledge a man pretty close to my father! My dad is the funniest man I know and I always wanted a man that could make me laugh like him and be silly and lovable like him!

My first husband was NOT that man, but the sperm donor of my wonderful children Trinity(5.6.02) and Hayden(7.26.05)! During this horrible marriage I actually continued to pray for this man I dreamt of. After my divorce, God and I had a little pact! There was a song that made my heart bleed and melt for Him _ Aaron Shust "My Saviour My God". I asked God so that I wouldn't make the same mistake twice, that when I met the man HE made for me, that during the first time of meeting him that I would here this song. I dated a few guys and ended them knowing they weren't the "one". Not just because the song didn't play but it was a factor. haha

Then one day on myspace, haha, I received this adorable message from a man name Josh. There was a man in a paintball mask aiming in the default picture. I opened the message and read something like this " I just wanted to write you a little message to let you know that I believe you are a great mom. The smiles on your kids faces tell me that. You don't need to write me back, I just thought I should let you know" Man I wish I had saved the actual message but it was like that. I was intrigued because it wasn't the normal myspace crap of "hey baby lets chat
" or "your hot, wanna go out" So instead of hitting the delete button like I did with most messages from random men I replied!

We wrote back and forth for a while until June 6th 2006 when we got the nerve to call each other! I thought it was a great convo but Josh tells me now that I was very spacey. haha. I guess I was doing things while talking to him and getting the kids under control and what not. He thought is was funny.

We decided to meet shortly after at his house on June 9th. I figured the base was the safest place to meet so I was unafraid to meet him at his home. He ordered the pizza and I brought the movie and dessert! My favorite, fruit and chocolate! The Hilarius thing now is I brought the movie Open Water. Josh is terrified of the ocean and its the movies about the people who get lost out at sea! HAHA! so funny, I didn't know at the time!

Of course the night started with me as an airhead! I called him trying to find the house and I guess he saw me and was on the driveway and I just drove right past him! haha I was blinded by the sun setting glare I couldn't see a thing. All i heard was "here here oh you passed me!" hahaha it was so funny! So then I loop around and pull up in the driveway realizing my car is a MESS!! Not a surprise for me but I didn't want him to know I was a pig on the first date! haha I quickly got out and persuaded him away! As a gentleman he was approaching my car asking if I needed any help and I kept pushing him away! He must have thought I was a nut by now! haha!

We get in the house and immediately I'm thinking this man needs some decorating help. The kitchen was full of apple curtains and accessories. Family room was better, big entertainment center, leather couch. We had a great time! We didn't watch the movie much, we talked A LOT! Its the best kind of first date! No dumb bar people, not in a dark theater wondering who they are, we talked!! He enjoyed my dessert! I cut up bananas, apples, strawberries, Mandarin oranges and cherries! I was proud of myself! Thanks to my mommy it was one of my favorite desserts as a kid that she did for us! I even brought little toothpicks! haha!!

After the awesome evening he walked me to my car. I figured it was dark enough now he couldn't see much the mess! We gave each other a big hug and I got in. I started the car and can you guess what song I heard on the radio? Your darn right!! Aaron Shust, My Saviour My God!! I had the HUGEST smile on my face!! My heart knew it too!! BUT of course I could already hear the skeptics so I continued the relationship still aware myself.

But it just kept getting better and better. I just knew Josh was the one, I could feel it, I could see it and better yet I felt God told me! We did have a very rough patch at one point but it only made us even better!! I cant speak for Josh directly but I know he was feeling the same I was but it scared him. That was our tough time. Letting him know it was OK that we were moving so fast. He then started to trust me and even better he started trusting God again!

One June 2, 2007 we were married! I married as mommy of 3 more kids that I call mine! mine mine all mine! haha Katie (5.22.94) Megan (9.20.95) and Devon (5.29.97).

I can definately say that I married a man that is strong, of God, of humor, of passion, of strength, of knowledge, a man pretty close to my father!